Food issues

I really liked this above card!  There have been some days in the past when I felt like a short-order cook....serving everyone their own special food.  Not any more!!!

We instituted a "courtesy bite" rule (compliments of our social group suggestion).  You will get the same food as everyone at the table on your plate....maybe not the same amount, but the same type of food.  You have to take ONE bite of all the types of food.  No complaining, gagging, or vomiting.  If you do perhaps gag and vomit, you will be the one cleaning up the mess.

The above sounds a little manic and violent....it's not really....these rules can be calmly and quietly explained under the guise of "good manners".  We have found that "good manners" explain a variety of actions and reactions appropriate for social situations.  When in doubt, follow the "good manners" rule and you will find guidance in situations when you are confused.

Once the "courtesy bite" is taken, no other bite may be required.  Our fallback food was yogurt, fruit or chicken nuggets....if you didn't like any of the rest of the food. 

Our daughter has managed to overcome many, many food aversions...except to peanut butter.  She says it is just too "gooey" and "sticky".  Is it horrible that she doesn't like peanut butter....no way!  There have even been instances where we have tried toasting the bread and putting just a little bit of peanut butter on the sandwich....and she has been able to eat it.  I just had to push the envelope that little bit! ha!

Just keep in mind that for typical kiddos who are rejecting a new food, it takes them about 6 weeks of offering it DAILY to get them to accept the new food.  So you can see how our kiddos may take a little longer....so don't give up!

Our daughter used to vomit/gag whenever she just saw whipped cream.  Now she can shoot it right into her mouth from the can....just like her father!  You gotta love some role models! :)

I love Michelle Garcia Winner's blog and website....one of her newest products can be found here .  It is a game called "Should I or Shouldn't I? What Would Others Think?" by Dominique Baudry. 

Even if you don't play the game, the cards provide great conversation starters for your child.  "My feet are hot in class.  Should I take off my shoes and socks at my desk?"  This is awesome for social groups or simply to play with your family. 

Sorry I have been off the grid for awhile.....oldest daughter is going through college applications, scholarship applications, and essays.  All her extra work and effort and paying dividends...she is two for two for full tuition and extras.  Hasn't decided where she will land yet, but it will be local!

Remember that spring is around the corner....no, really it is!!!

 

As you may know, I am the mom of two teenage daughters, 17 & 15.  Notice how tired I am as I write that sentence :)

I am always looking for ways to start conversations on important topics and share with our girls our perspective on situations in their lives, and this is a pretty good place to start.

The six most important decisions are: (quoted from page 4 of the book)

1. School.  What are you going to do about your education?
2. Friends.  What type of friends will you choose and what kind of friend will you be?
3. Parents.  Are you going to get along with your parents?
4. Dating and Sex.  Who will you date and what will you do about sex?
5. Addictions.  What will you do about smoking, drinking, drugs, and other addictive stuff?
6. Self-Worth.  Will you choose to like yourself?

The pages are filled with cartoons, quizzes, and stories.  It is an interesting and inviting read and yes, does go into detail about sex and STD's....but in a very matter of fact way.  My 15 year old shared she may be interested in dating (and no I didn't see THAT coming!) a conversation that was prompted by a quiz she took in the book.  Luckily, the mom response to that little tidbit was "I don't think so!" :) ha!  As stated on one of the pages in the Parent chapter..."parents don't always have to have a reason".

Anyway, it runs about $12 or so at Amazon and you might be able to get it from your local library.  Let me know what you think and if you have found any other books you like!

Happy New Year!

New Year resolutions seem to focus on self improvement.  I think we as parents of kiddos on the spectrum need to make a resolution to take care of ourselves and be kind to ourselves. 

No judging, no feeling inadequate, no comparing yourself to others allowed!

Try to get some sleep (and yes, naps count!) There is no shame in getting a few zzzz's while the kids watch a video....sometimes videos are are best friends and saving grace :)

Try to keep hydrated....you'd be surprised how much better you feel when you have enough water...our oldest daughter has discovered that water helps her focus and have energy.

How about a fast food dinner or even a "breakfast" dinner with cereal for the meal?

How about having an entire day where you just enjoy your kiddos and let them play with what they want and have a fun day?

Take a pause and remember how far your child has come from where they started and that this is a process....not an overnight time of growth/improvement.

Over this holiday we just taught our girls  how to play euchre (a big card game in Indiana!)  Our fun discovery is that our 15 year old daughter on the spectrum is a risk taker when it comes to playing cards and is learning "trash talk" as well.  Let me just say that she and her sister have beaten the parents the last two evenings and seeing her laugh and enjoy herself is a gift itself.

What do you do to take care of yourself?

Have a wonderful 2013 and thanks for all the support!

We have talked with our daughters (15 & 17) about the Sandy Hook Elementary tragedy.  We have explained that all the facts are not yet known.  And we have been especially mindful of early reports that the perpetrator had an Aspergers diagnosis.

We have explained to our daughter on the spectrum (15 years old) that the diagnosis did NOT mean all people with this diagnosis were so horribly violent.

She quickly replied, "Well I know that!  He was a sick person, and being autistic doesn't mean you will hurt people."

Guess there's nothing else to add.....

Remember to enjoy your child!

Since I am still relatively new to blogging, I have been experimenting with writing my posts several weeks in advance and setting the "automatic post" option.  Needless to say, my now deleted post was written several weeks ago and I had forgotten about the topic through the course of these last few days.  I am sorry.  Perhaps posting "in the moment" has its advantages.

 

"The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog"

Mark Twain

 

 



Got Kids?

Do you have other children in your family? Are they older or younger than your child with autism?  I have a daughter that is 2 years older than my daughter with autism. (yep, two in diapers...I can hear your eye roll).  So I did have a "typical" child first and still missed the autism signs (loss of language, no eye contact, no pointing....to mention just a few)  But then so did my pediatrician, but that is a future entry on this blog :)

For some folks having a typical child first does highlight some differences in the development of their younger child.  And if your older child is the child on the spectrum, sometimes the younger siblings can be a helper to them too. 

We used the phrase "your sister needs help using her words" to explain our behavior modeling/conversation....it was easier than trying to explain autism, or PDD, NOS.

When our girls were older and aware of the autism diagnosis, we still had to remind our older daughter why her sister overly reacted to unexpected accidents (a spilled glass of water).  She would invariably gasp wide-eyed and say "I forgot!" She was so used to and so close to her sister that she sometimes forgot that there was a disability. (parent side note: I never forget :)

So think about how your other children can be helpers to your child on the spectrum and how your child on the spectrum can enrich their siblings lives with their unique interests too.

You know I am going to say it :)...."remember to enjoy your child"....and all your children!