Thank you!

I will be "going dark" until next year.....2012 :) Will be celebrating with friends and family and trying to be "in the moment" and enjoying our time together.

One favorite tradition we have is the girls get to open one present Christmas eve....and it's always a new pair of pajamas....so everyone looks fabulous in the pictures of Christmas day. I am the one behind the camera ha!

What traditions do you have in your family?

Please have wonderful holiday and thanks for reading and leaving comments on this newbie blog. Hopefully 2012 will be filled with health and happiness and peace for all.

Here's a joke for all of your kiddos on the spectrum....they will truly appreciate it!

What comes at the end of Christmas Day?

The letter "y" :)

Remember to enjoy your child!

Winter Break from School

Our girls LOVE to have their "jammie days". They get up, brush teeth (THAT part of cleanliness is mandatory:) and proceed to be, as my hubby says "lazy bums".

Sometimes it is good to just have a kick back day to recharge batteries and relax....eat some junk food, or have a meal where the menu is "OYO" (on your own). An OYO meal can be anything your kids want, except a piece of fruit or a veggie had to be part of the food eaten....slipping a little bit of nutrition.

When our girls were smaller, we had a special box in the pantry that held all their "approved" snacks....fruit cups, granola, snack crackers, graham crackers...you get the idea. We also had a drawer in the refrigerator that had food that was also parent approved. This made OYO meals a little more fun for them as they could be the "boss" and choose their menu, but knew it was still okay with mom and dad.

I think as parents, we too need our "jammie days". Sometimes you need to take a break from pushing soooo hard on therapies and proper social interaction and physical activity. Winter break from school may be just the time to hang out and enjoy our kids and catch up on our TV shows :)

So leave that Puritan guilt at the door, take a deep breath, ignore all the housework, laundry, chores and lists of obligations and relax.....after, of course, you have brushed your teeth!

12 Days of Christmas Preparation - Day 12

Well we did it! Twelve Days in a Row! Hopefully you found some tidbit helpful in the last few days postings. Now I will try a twice weekly posting schedule -- whew!

You may have seen this quote before, but it bears repeating:

Three Wise Women
would've asked directions,
arrived on time,
helped deliver the baby,
cleaned the stable,
made a casserole,
brought practical gifts
and there would be Peace on Earth!

Thank you for reading!

12 Days of Christmas Preparation - Day 11

So far on this almost completed 12 day journey of Christmas preparation tips I have focused on preparing the kids on the spectrum.

May I suggest another group to be prepared?

Extended family and friends....yep, those folks who may think if you spank your child the autism will go away. Thankfully we never ran into that problem and have over the top supportive parents, family and friends.

However, not everyone is as informed or knowledgeable as you are about your child and what they need, so in order to be fair to all involved....don't expect them to act differently if they don't know what to do (family and friends that is ;)

You might have to send an email or have a casual conversation ahead of a visit. Share with them that some sounds might upset your child. Maybe they don't like to be hugged or kissed. Is there a quiet room they can go into if they need a break? Your child may need some different food than everyone else and you will be happy to bring it along. Are there animals in the house? Will they be put up or at a kennel? Explain that although it is fun for everyone to be together, sometimes your child will need to be alone to play a video game or read a book, etc.

Our kids really enjoy repetitive tasks like stringing popcorn or beads....if the weather is accommodating, maybe a short walk or swing set visit would be a good break.

And most of all try to keep yourself calm....your child will pick up on your tense emotions. Try and keep the visit short and remember it is only a few hours and will be over soon enough.

Remember, the only thing normal in this house is the setting on the dryer! :)

What has worked well for you and your family?

12 Days of Christmas Preparation - Day 10

During the holiday preparation period do take pictures of everything your child does and put make a photo book so they can share it with people and tell about what they have done.

Pictures of:

Decorating the outside of the house
The house at night with the Christmas decorations on
Decorating the Christmas tree
Decorating around the house
Wrapping presents
Decorating cookies or helping in the kitchen
Family members and friends visited
Family pets
Favorite gifts
Homes of family visited
Anything that interested your child over the holiday season

Nothing fancy....print the pictures off and glue them onto construction paper and staple the pages together. Write a few sentences at the bottom of the page and it will serve as a cue to your child when someone asks how their holiday was!

12 Days of Christmas Preparation - Day 9

Are we there yet? Traveling by plane is hard enough for adults.....wow, now we are taking our kiddos?

Building excitement by counting the days until the travel day using post it notes or days crossed off on a calendar can help them enjoy the journey (no pun intended :)

See about going to the airport ahead of time and walking around, taking in the sights, sounds and smells of the location. Take pictures around the airport to put in a book so they can look at them later as much as they want to.

You can check to see if your child can go through the security line before your travel date so they can see the procedure and not become alarmed on the day of travel. Our 12 year old daughter was actually pulled out of line to be searched (you know how those autistic kiddos resemble terrorists :) I thought my head was going to explode...we were not allowed to touch her or be near her (SHE was handling it just fine..."waiting her turn") My husband quietly flagged the security guard and explained our situation and then things hurried along and she was cleared. It was nothing any of us had done....she was the lucky random person pulled out that flight. We joked that we should now go buy a lottery ticket since we were so lucky!

Ask the flight attendant if you can be seated first, explaining it may take a little time to get settled. Most airlines are accommodating and understanding.

See if you can get seats near the restroom and bring noise cancelling headphones or ipod/mp3 player to help mask the loud plane noise.

Bring a comfortable blanket to keep with your child and a gameboy/nintendo ds...and plan on entertaining your child yourself if necessary.

And remember the flight attendant's advice "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you are going to leave something, please make sure it is valuable as it will be equally divided among the attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses" :)

What travel tips can you add?

12 Days of Christmas Preparation - Day 8

Traveling over the holidays.....yes, Virginia, we all have to do it!

If you are traveling via car, you likely already have an idea of how your child will do. Bring lots of books, games or videos they can entertain themselves with. Bringing snacks and water is also a good idea as well as taking a break every hour to let them stretch their legs.

When our girls were smaller, we actually had a grab bag of small toys that were wrapped that they got to chose and open every XXX amount of miles/minutes in the car. It was something they looked forward to doing and then they were entertained for a little while.

Some kids can't stand road noise and noise cancelling headphones are their best friend along with a comfort blanket too.

If you don't have a huge long car trip planned....bring two cars. Trust me, you will be glad to be able to head home after a short visit....sometimes the lucky parent is the one who gets to go home with their child ~ ha!

Santa has the right idea...only visit people once a year ~ Victor Borge ;)

12 Days of Christmas Preparation - Day 7

Well now, isn't this what it's all about? :) Not really, but in our kids' minds it certainly rates right up there with Peace on Earth and Goodwill to Men :)

Let your child practice wrapping empty boxes and then let them practice UNwrapping them. Practice what to say if you receive a duplicate present or something you already have. Practice how loud some paper can be when it is crinkled up. Do you save bows? Do you have a trash bag or a bow bag?


Also, for heaven's sake completely open up and unpackage your child's gift BEFORE you wrap it...nothing is more frustrating than waiting while your tired parent tries to open a completely sealed toy in plastic cement packaging.

Practice waiting your turn while others unwrap their gifts (and they may NOT want your help!) Practice sitting calmly while others play with their loud toys...find something to entertain yourself with while you wait. Remember to enjoy your child!


One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly. ~Andy Rooney

12 Days of Christmas Preparation - Day 6

If we as adults feel overwhelmed by the Christmas/holiday season, can you imagine how our kids feel? Your house (normally their sanctuary) is completely decorated with different things and smells and you can't touch some items. The main word for this season is "prepare". Help your child become prepared for the upcoming days.

Sometimes it helps our kids to look at previous year's photographs to help them remember how the house will look and who some of the friends and family members will be coming to visit. Remind them who people are and offer some conversational tidbits they could talk about with those folks.

Also they need a quiet place to "regroup" if they become overwhelmed by noise or crowded family areas...plan where they could go in advance and what activities they can do to help self calm...listen to music, read a book , play a hand held game, hold a stuffed animal...whatever works.

What things do you find helps your child?

12 Days of Christmas Preparation - Day 5

"A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor"

It must be pretty common that some topics are to be avoided in holiday conversations or comedy writers and cartoonists would be out of material and jobs.

So, help your child out by practicing conversations with others they see during the holidays. Perhaps write a social story about what to do when you greet someone.....and cue others in your family/friend circle if your child doesn't like to be hugged or touched.

Let your family and friends know ahead of time of some topics they can discuss with your child. What are they interested in, things going on in school, favorite books, etc.

Also let your child know if there are things that are "private" and NOT to be discussed with others outside the immediate family.

One of the things we do in our family is "in my mind". You can say anything "in your mind", but you do NOT say them out loud. If a cousin is driving your child crazy, he is allowed to think, "boy they are driving me nuts, I wish they would go away." However, you do NOT say that to your cousin. It allows them permission to validate their feelings and also teaches them manners of appropriate behavior when things are not going according to their plan. They can say, "I need to go to the bathroom" to get away from folks and get a quiet few minutes, instead of having a verbal meltdown. Or "I think I hear my mom calling me".

My husband says he has mastered this technique at his office :)

12 Days of Christmas Preparation - Day 4

"Anyone who thinks conversation is dead ought to tell a child to go to bed."

Try to keep your child on a somewhat normal routine/schedule. Keeping bath and quiet times prior to bedtime in place may help lower the mental activity level of your kiddo.

It may be that hiring a babysitter to help out during some of the holiday activities allows everyone to enjoy themselves a little bit....parents don't have to worry so much about their child and the child has a known support person they trust.

Limiting sugar may also help decrease the "high" they experience during the day and make bedtime a little more settled.

Any ideas for helping bedtimes stay "smooth"?

Sweet dreams!

12 Days of Christmas Preparation - Day 3

Blog Disclaimer: Now before I write this next post, please know this is NOT a picture from my holiday home in the past. NEVER has my dining table looked like this at the holidays :)

Not only do you have to see people you may not normally see at the holidays, but you also may have to sit in a different spot at the table or a different table altogether!

It may be you need to find a special place for your child to eat their meal.

If your child is on a special diet, make sure they have food they can eat available. Also now is probably not the best time time try new foods....keep it to the basics your child enjoys. Maybe even have some of their favorites...even if it is chicken fingers and french fries!

What are some of your child's favorite foods?

12 Days of Christmas Preparation - Day 2

I don't know if I can do 12 days of these tips, but we are going to give it the good old American try! :)

Social Stories might be helpful to alleviate your child's anxiety about scheduled events coming up. Also create a calendar with the events posted so they can plan on when something will occur, not just worry "when is it going to happen".

Having your child shop and help pick out Christmas decorations may help them relax around the decorated tree and house and maybe help them understand what can be touched and what must be left alone.


What works for you?

12 Days of Christmas Preparation - Day 1

"You want me to sit on this noisy man's lap...he has a huge white beard that is scratchy and hides his face, funny clothes and a hat and weird elf helpers. AND you want me to smile for a picture? Are you kidding me??

I often think that this is the "in my mind" conversation my child is having as we excitedly head off to see Santa at the mall and get our picture taken.

Our girls were no different, squirming and fidgeting until they could escape. We learned to hit the mall on non-busy hours and get in and out as quickly as possible

We actually got a friend to dress up in the complete Santa suit and practiced different scripts of what could happen when we went to see Santa at the mall. It helped her to see the friend was in a Santa costume (like Halloween) and we explained that "Santa Helpers" were the folks at the mall, while the real Santa was at the North Pole.

We also let her play with the Santa costume and let her carry around a small Santa Claus stuffed doll so she became more comfortable with the idea of him.

One fun thing we did on Christmas Eve (after the kids were in bed) we put made baking soda boot prints on our carpet leading from the fireplace to the Christmas tree....told our girls the next day it was "magic snow" from Santa's boots. They loved it and it did clean up with the sweeper!

Now for some adult humor:

Santa is jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live! Ho! Ho! Ho!