Eye Contact

"Look at me!" "Where are my eyes?" "Look me in the eyes!"

How many times have we uttered those words? Now THAT'S something I wish I had a quarter for every time I said! :)

Now in defense of our kiddos, sometimes it is just too much sensory overload to look at someone's eyes, too complicated and it is too uncomfortable. AND we don't mean constantly STARE at someone in their eyes...yikes, that's unsettling!

A terrific book called Socially Curious and Curiously Social by Michelle Garcia Winner and Pamela Crooke explain it like this, "our eyes help us see what other people are looking at and this helps us figure out what other people may be thinking."

"The Four Steps of Communication include:

Step 1: Think about what other people think

Step 2: Establish physical presence

Step 3: Think about others with your eyes

Step 4: Use language to relate to others:

Think of it as being a detective and trying to figure out what other people are looking at and then make a good guess about their thoughts.

Wonder if this works with husbands? :)

IEP Update

This will be a short entry as I am still pretending it's Thanksgiving and visiting out of town relatives :)

Sometimes it is a good idea to check in with your child's teacher(s) for a quick update. You can normally send a quick email and just say you were touching base and see if there is anything they would like for you to address at home.

It is easier for the teacher to respond to an email than a phone call for a quick update. Now if they don't respond (and yes, we have had that situation too!) you can wait a few days and re-send your email with a opening line of "Wasn't sure I had the right email address, could you respond and let me know?" THEN if no response, it's up to you whether or not you call or let it go and assume all is good in that particular class (and yes, I do remember what they say about assume!)

Another option is to re-convene the IEP. You have the right to ask for the IEP committee to meet again during the school year. Now it may take a little longer to coordinate schedules, but it is always an option. Some parents include this in their annual IEP as a goal...."will reconvene the IEP 6 weeks after the start of school" to make sure things are going well and any problems or concerns are addressed when they are little, not when there is a crisis.

Just try and keep an open dialogue with your child's teacher and you will need absolutely none of the above advice :)

Albert Einstein once said,"It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer."

It does take a little more effort to "figure out" how to support out kiddos! :)

Too Funny!

As we were discussing where to go on spring break, my husband mentioned Las Vegas. We all chimed in about Hoover Dam, Red Rock Canyon, all the sights on the strip, the shows and restaurants we could visit.

Jokingly, I requested that we renew our wedding vows with an Elvis impersonater. (we've been married 27 years, yep, longer than dirt)

My daughter quickly chimed in, "But I thought wedding vows didn't expire!"

Enjoy your child! :)

Holiday Shopping

These next couple of tips come from the Hidden Curriculum One-A-Day Calendar.

Malls, stores and restaurants are generally more crowded around the holidays and on weekends. Prepare yourself for that or stay away, if possible.

Black Friday has nothing to do with death or disease. It is a retail sales term applied to Friday after Thanksgiving when retail stores generally go from "in the red" to "in the black" meaning they begin making a profit for the year.

It helps to make sure your child has an activity to entertain themselves while in the car or waiting on you while running errands. Praise the hand held Nintendo DS, Leapfrog, or iPod or other small devices...they are priceless for keeping anxiety down and helping the time pass for the kids. They also come with earbuds, so they don't disturb others in public.

Crossword puzzles, word searches, a favorite book in a series, cartoon books like Captain Underpants as well as crochet or knitting are other activities to help entertain. Sometimes we even fill small backpacks or tote bags with a couple different items (including a healthy snack!) so they can have some variety of activities.

Sharing the schedule of the day also helps...."First we are going to this store to look for 'X' and then we are heading to 'ABC'. We will probably get lunch at 'XYZ' but if it is too crowded then '123' is our second choice." We also remind our girls that they need to "put on their flexible hats" when we head out and that sometimes the day just doesn't turn out as we all planned....because that is life, and sometimes LIFE HAPPENS!

Ever Have One of Those Days?

School Projects

Two words that strike fear into the hearts of parents...."School Projects". Teachers please use your powers for good and help those of us in the netherworld of communication with our child.

Please send an email home to us and explain the due dates of the projects and include the rubric, requirements and any other important details we may need to know to help our kiddo. I would welcome the "heads up" prior to my child finding out about it, in case there might be any sensory issues, or problems with organization and focus, or presentation anxiety.

You can even put in the IEP that your child be given extra time to have the project explained to them and they tell the teacher what they just heard in order to avoid confusion. Also perhaps if they have anxiety, it might be a good idea to have them go first when making a presentation or talking about their science fair project to the judge.

Any direction provided to our child by the teacher to steer them to an appropriate choice for a book report or science project would be greatly appreciated.....sometimes trying to make a chemical explosion may not be the best choice :) I am a huge fan of the "KISS" principle...."Keep It Simple Stupid" and school projects are no exception!

One of our daughter's projects this spring will be to "make a house" for the Social Studies architecture design project and you better believe we are "steering" our daughter to make a less involved choice than a Queen Anne style complete with gingerbread trim...I'm just saying! :)

Who has Aspergers?

Just in case some folks don't realize that our kids can accomplish things, perhaps because of their autism, here is a list of suspected "aspies" to have some fun with:

Thomas Jefferson..........Isaac Newton............

Alfred Hitchcock........Wolfgang Mozart.......

Charles Darwin.........Emily Dickinson........

and Albert Einstein

Come on, you have to admit, it's possible some of the most important inventions have been made by folks with a form of autism. You just know that the cavemen were sitting around chatting and socializing and there was one guy in the back of the cave clicking two stones together, over and over and over again......until......FIRE!

Enjoy Your Child :)

One of the best pieces of advice I received (while in the trenches of diagnosis) was to remember to "enjoy my child". Really?!!? I am buried under IEPs, therapies, coping with all the sound, texture and social issues my child has? Who has time for that? We do!!!

Our kids have terrific focus and attention to detail. Need help playing that video game? Guess who to ask! Having problems on the computer....call your child. They see things in such a unique way you have to laugh and appreciate their perspective.

I want to share a story from a good friend of mine whose child came home with a project...a cigar box. "What are you to do with this?" "I don't know, my teacher just gave me this box".

Well, the box was for a project to use your imagination and make something....mom found out once she contact the teacher...due in 2 days! Her son decided they would make the witch's house out of candy from Hansel and Gretel. Mom had to spend about $30 on supplies. This house was spectacular -- it used every kind of candy possible. Red fruit by the foot for the roof shingles, icing walls with candy sprinkles on the outside, a blue candy front door, green grass icing poked with a fork to make the blades of grass, crumbled up oreos for the mulch on the flower bed, a rainbow colored sidewalk made out of colored sugar lined with red licorice borders, a blue icing pond with little candy fishes in it -- it was magnificent!

At the end of this very laborious project, the child had to fill out a self evaluation form and rate his creativity and effort on a scale of 0-3 with 3 being outstanding. He rated himself mostly 3's with a couple of 2's. The final question on the form was "How could your project be improved?" He wrote his answer with conviction....."IT NEEDS MORE CANDY".
Remember to enjoy your child :)

Social Groups

Have you discovered any social groups your kiddo could float into? My daughter has suggested this topic for today :) She feels that social groups help kids with autism "branch out" and meet new friends. Some of her favorites are a knitting club that we started as an after school club, and another one is Art Club.

In Art Club they are painting a collage on one of the walls in the school basement....an ocean theme and everyone got to choose what to add...starfish, coral, goldfish, sharks, or my daughter's favorite, the moorish idol (you know you were wondering what this picture had to do with anything!!! :)

Another club we have enjoyed is the Cooking Club run by the Home Economics teacher. The kids get to bring the yummy food home they have learned to cook...we have enjoyed tacos, cookies, pretzels and candy.

Our high school offers a variety of clubs such as Nintendo Club, Harry Potter Club, Euchre Club, our Sit-N-Knit Club, in addition to the language clubs and volunteer clubs.

If a structured "social group" is not available, try to explore some of the offerings of the school after hours or perhaps start your own club!

Idioms are NOT for Idiots :)

You are almost late to class and the teacher says you made it by the skin of your teeth, it means you made it just in time. She is NOT saying anything about your teeth (from 2009 Hidden Curriculum One-A-Day Calendar).

We had to work on idioms for quite a while in elementary school. Finally made a game of trying to act them out and also to see if we could "fool Mom". There are several fun illustrated books for kids with idioms too. Here are a few to get you started!

Get a grip
It's not the end of the world
Don't get bent out of shape
It's a piece of cake
Bite off more than you can chew
Knocked the wind out of me
Nothing to sneeze at
So hungry I could eat a horse
It's Greek to me
I'm just beside myself

So get busy, start sprinkling your day with idioms and have a ball! What other ones can you think of?

Holiday Ideas!

Yep, I said in the earlier entry I would try not to keep encouraging you to spend money....oops!

With the holidays and gift giving right around the corner, here are some ideas of toys and games for kiddos on the spectrum.

Computer/DS/Wii/Xbox games go without saying, so here are a few other ideas. I will try and post a few more over the next few blog entries.

Take a look at http://www.fatbraintoys.com/toys/special_needs/autism/index.cfm which has some unusual sensory toys.

Also check out http://www.got-autism.com/Asperger-Syndrome/Therapeutic-Games-c165/

We haven't tried any of these, but they look like they address a variety of social situations.

One game our girls also like was Apples to Apples (matching adjectives and nouns and involves a "judge"), as well as Battleship (you have to deal with immediate frustration of not "hitting" the targeted boat :) They also loved to play dress up and we could find some fun things at our local Goodwill store.

Stringing beads, playdoh, cookbooks with utensils (to encourage eating of different foods that your child makes!) jigsaw puzzles, books with flaps or textures, Guess Who board game, Snap card game, Connect Four are a few things we have explored over the years.

Please share any ideas or toys you have found especially fun for your kids...it will help us all with our shopping!