Happy New Year!

New Year resolutions seem to focus on self improvement.  I think we as parents of kiddos on the spectrum need to make a resolution to take care of ourselves and be kind to ourselves. 

No judging, no feeling inadequate, no comparing yourself to others allowed!

Try to get some sleep (and yes, naps count!) There is no shame in getting a few zzzz's while the kids watch a video....sometimes videos are are best friends and saving grace :)

Try to keep hydrated....you'd be surprised how much better you feel when you have enough water...our oldest daughter has discovered that water helps her focus and have energy.

How about a fast food dinner or even a "breakfast" dinner with cereal for the meal?

How about having an entire day where you just enjoy your kiddos and let them play with what they want and have a fun day?

Take a pause and remember how far your child has come from where they started and that this is a process....not an overnight time of growth/improvement.

Over this holiday we just taught our girls  how to play euchre (a big card game in Indiana!)  Our fun discovery is that our 15 year old daughter on the spectrum is a risk taker when it comes to playing cards and is learning "trash talk" as well.  Let me just say that she and her sister have beaten the parents the last two evenings and seeing her laugh and enjoy herself is a gift itself.

What do you do to take care of yourself?

Have a wonderful 2013 and thanks for all the support!

Got Kids?

Do you have other children in your family? Are they older or younger than your child with autism?  I have a daughter that is 2 years older than my daughter with autism. (yep, two in diapers...I can hear your eye roll).  So I did have a "typical" child first and still missed the autism signs (loss of language, no eye contact, no pointing....to mention just a few)  But then so did my pediatrician, but that is a future entry on this blog :)

For some folks having a typical child first does highlight some differences in the development of their younger child.  And if your older child is the child on the spectrum, sometimes the younger siblings can be a helper to them too. 

We used the phrase "your sister needs help using her words" to explain our behavior modeling/conversation....it was easier than trying to explain autism, or PDD, NOS.

When our girls were older and aware of the autism diagnosis, we still had to remind our older daughter why her sister overly reacted to unexpected accidents (a spilled glass of water).  She would invariably gasp wide-eyed and say "I forgot!" She was so used to and so close to her sister that she sometimes forgot that there was a disability. (parent side note: I never forget :)

So think about how your other children can be helpers to your child on the spectrum and how your child on the spectrum can enrich their siblings lives with their unique interests too.

You know I am going to say it :)...."remember to enjoy your child"....and all your children!

Thanksgiving Social Story

You can use the "story lines" from below and add any pictures you would like.  This is just a jumping off point from the site www.positivelyautism.com.

My Family's Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a holiday in November.

On Thanksgiving many families eat a large meal together.

At my family's Thanksgiving meal we might eat: (fill in the blanks)

At Thanksgiving some families say a prayer before they eat.  This is sometimes called "saying grace".

Some families might also tell some things they are thankful for.  This means they each say something that they like or that makes them happy.

Before we eat my family will: (fill in the blanks)

After they eat, some families will watch football on TV.

After we eat, my family will: (fill in the blanks)

Some families will meet with lots of other people in the family for Thanksgiving.

Other families have dinner with just a few people in the family.

My family will: (fill in the blanks)

To visit with family some people might need to travel.  Some will travel by car and some will travel by airplane.

My family will: (fill in blanks)

I am learning about Thanksgiving.

I hope you have a fun and thanks-filled day on "Turkey Day".  Try to take some deep breaths for yourselves and remember to enjoy your child!

Hidden Curriculum Calendar

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this calendar....we have used it since 2006.  There is one for kids and another for Teens and Older Adults.  I cannot say enough about this calendar and am sure there are other "Hidden Curriculum" items available.

Here are just a few random entries in this page-a-day format.  We had ours on the table and it provided many meal time conversations about appropriate social behavior.

Recess is a time to talk to other kids, run, walk, and play games.  It is okay to ask a teacher if you need help remembering how to try new activities, but it's not a good idea to stand by the teacher all the time at recess.

When you are talking to your teacher, don't necessarily say everything that you are thinking.  For example, if you think your teacher smells like dirty socks, it would be very rude and hurtful to say that to her.  Try to stay on one topic and ask your questions in a calm voice.

If your teacher says "Give yourselves a hand," she is telling the class to clap to congratulate themselves for doing something well.

If someone says, "That drives me crazy," that doesn't mean she is being driven anywhere.  It usually means the person is very frustrated with what is happening.

Just because something is on TV does not mean it is true.  Talk to your parents about things you see in commercials or TV programs to find out if they think those things are true.

People don't like hearing things they already know.  Instead of telling somebody something they already know, keep the idea in your head, even if you think it's important.  Later you may find a chance to share it with somebody else.

If you do not like the birthday treats being offered, that's okay.  Just say, "No, thank you." Don't ask for a different treat.  There's probably only one kind.

When you check the clock repeatedly, others will think you are bored or late.  Try to glance at the clock only occasionally and try to do it very quickly.

Aren't these fabulous?  Even thinking and talking about these daily prompts so many conversations and opportunities for your child to share with you...."oh yeah, that reminds me of what happened today...." and it is just a quick little nudge for appropriate behavior on a daily basis! :)

Remember to enjoy your child!

Sabbatical :)

I will be "going dark" for a this week while we have some family fun :) Remember to enjoy your child! (And THAT's no April Fool!)

St. Patrick's Day!

Just a quick post today....knowing St. Patrick's Day is coming up on Saturday. When my girls were in elementary school, sometimes during lunch when they would be in the cafeteria, a leprechaun would have visited their room and left little presents for them.

For most kids this would be tremendous fun....for some of our kiddos, it was scary to think that a little man wearing green was wandering around and messing with their desk. Teachers, please keep in mind that while this is a delightful little surprise you do for the class, some kiddos might need a little more explanation.

As our girls got older we had to explain that it was okay if you forgot to wear something green on St. Patrick's Day....and no one had the right to "pinch" you if you didn't. Likewise, you were NOT to pinch someone who was not wearing green.

THEN as they got even older, we had to explain that "Erin Go Braugh" did NOT mean for someone named Erin to remove her bra, but rather it meant roughly "Ireland Forever".

Now, go put on something green, leave your bra on and enjoy your child! Oh, and "Erin Go Braugh"! :)

Chat Packs for KIDS!

We don't want the younger kiddos to feel that they are left out! Also these could be used during social groups, lunch bunches. Not to mention teachers can use them for classroom activities...woo hoo!

Here are some examples:

How do you imagine that you will look physically when you are 21?

If you had to choose between exploring outer space or the bottom of the deepest ocean, which one would you chose?

If you got a parrot for a pet, what phrase above all others would you be sure to teach the beaked blabbermouth to say?

If you could've been born on any holiday, which holiday would you choose?

We have used these on car trips and also taken them with us when we go out to eat...sometimes it IS possible to replace the cell phones/electronic games and actually interact while you are waiting on your food :) Remember to enjoy your child!

A Big THANK YOU!!!

Thank you to the Worthington School District for hosting my lecture last January 24, Tuesday evening, "Thinking Outside the Box"! A special thank you to Dr. Toler, who made all the arrangements....your parents and teachers are very lucky to have you!

You made me feel very welcome and I enjoyed meeting so many parents, educators and bus drivers! Please continue to explore this blog and share any new information or tips you might have!

Remember, we all are an experiment of one!

Bumper Stickers

One of my favorites is:
AUTISM: IT'S NOT LIKE YOU THINK :)

Here are a few others....please note, Tips4Autism doesn't necessarily agree with these, but they are worth a look.....

Had to throw in this last one "just because" .... you all know who you are! Remember to enjoy your kids!

New Year's Resolutions

Well normally my toast at this time of year is "May your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions!"

I think a better time of year is in August or September...when school starts. Something about buying back to school clothes, a new schedule and routines brings along a freshness to the year.

However in the spirit of the day here are some musings:

Have Patience

Yea, yea, you are thinking...I know I should be more patient with the kids. Well, how about YOURSELF? We as parents are super critical of ourselves and have such high expectations of all we should be doing for our kiddos....stop it! Let's resolve to give ourselves a break! We have good intentions and are trying our best and by golly that counts for a whole heck of a lot!

Delegate One Task

Doesn't have to be a huge task....maybe something that is little and just niggling at the back of your mind. Mine is emptying the trash....my youngest (14) is in charge of emptying the trash. Upstairs and downstairs, bathrooms and kitchen....all I have to do is ask for her to do her "job" and voila! it is empty. Before you become green with envy...still working on her actually putting her clothes in the dresser and not continually getting dressed from neatly stacked laundry on her bedroom floor. :)

Do Nothing Night

Pick one night a week to "do nothing". Order in food or have an OYO (on your own) night for food where everyone forages through the pantry/refrigerator and eats whatever they want. Don't pick up the toys (that is what tomorrow is for) no laundry, or housecleaning....just chill.

Eliminate Dreaded Holiday Tasks

Sorry this one is late for this year, maybe you can implement it next December :) I have a delightful best friend who is a wrapping paper ninja...her gifts are beautifully wrapped in exquisite detail....I do well not to have mangled tape and wrinkled paper (hence my use of gift bags :) Tired of sending holiday cards....don't.....skip a year. Some folks can't get the job done before Christmas and send New Year's cards instead. If you enjoy something, keep it...if not....set if free and hopefully it won't come back to you. (referencing the old adage of "if you love something.....)

30 Minutes

Take 30 minutes a day for yourself....even if it is sitting alone in your car in quiet solitude. At one point in my life I asked if someone could come in the bathroom and look at me because I didn't think I could pee if I was alone :) Seriously, it will help provide a calming and centering if you can just sit quietly in stillness. Not your thing? Put on some music and jam! Just do something for yourself for 30 minutes....heck some days I was happy with 10!

Please have a healthy and happy 2012 filled with much love and laughter. Remember, love may make the world go round, but laughter keeps us from jumping off!

What are some of your resolutions for 2012? (if any ;)

Thank you!

I will be "going dark" until next year.....2012 :) Will be celebrating with friends and family and trying to be "in the moment" and enjoying our time together.

One favorite tradition we have is the girls get to open one present Christmas eve....and it's always a new pair of pajamas....so everyone looks fabulous in the pictures of Christmas day. I am the one behind the camera ha!

What traditions do you have in your family?

Please have wonderful holiday and thanks for reading and leaving comments on this newbie blog. Hopefully 2012 will be filled with health and happiness and peace for all.

Here's a joke for all of your kiddos on the spectrum....they will truly appreciate it!

What comes at the end of Christmas Day?

The letter "y" :)

Remember to enjoy your child!

Winter Break from School

Our girls LOVE to have their "jammie days". They get up, brush teeth (THAT part of cleanliness is mandatory:) and proceed to be, as my hubby says "lazy bums".

Sometimes it is good to just have a kick back day to recharge batteries and relax....eat some junk food, or have a meal where the menu is "OYO" (on your own). An OYO meal can be anything your kids want, except a piece of fruit or a veggie had to be part of the food eaten....slipping a little bit of nutrition.

When our girls were smaller, we had a special box in the pantry that held all their "approved" snacks....fruit cups, granola, snack crackers, graham crackers...you get the idea. We also had a drawer in the refrigerator that had food that was also parent approved. This made OYO meals a little more fun for them as they could be the "boss" and choose their menu, but knew it was still okay with mom and dad.

I think as parents, we too need our "jammie days". Sometimes you need to take a break from pushing soooo hard on therapies and proper social interaction and physical activity. Winter break from school may be just the time to hang out and enjoy our kids and catch up on our TV shows :)

So leave that Puritan guilt at the door, take a deep breath, ignore all the housework, laundry, chores and lists of obligations and relax.....after, of course, you have brushed your teeth!

12 Days of Christmas Preparation - Day 7

Well now, isn't this what it's all about? :) Not really, but in our kids' minds it certainly rates right up there with Peace on Earth and Goodwill to Men :)

Let your child practice wrapping empty boxes and then let them practice UNwrapping them. Practice what to say if you receive a duplicate present or something you already have. Practice how loud some paper can be when it is crinkled up. Do you save bows? Do you have a trash bag or a bow bag?


Also, for heaven's sake completely open up and unpackage your child's gift BEFORE you wrap it...nothing is more frustrating than waiting while your tired parent tries to open a completely sealed toy in plastic cement packaging.

Practice waiting your turn while others unwrap their gifts (and they may NOT want your help!) Practice sitting calmly while others play with their loud toys...find something to entertain yourself with while you wait. Remember to enjoy your child!


One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly. ~Andy Rooney

Too Funny!

As we were discussing where to go on spring break, my husband mentioned Las Vegas. We all chimed in about Hoover Dam, Red Rock Canyon, all the sights on the strip, the shows and restaurants we could visit.

Jokingly, I requested that we renew our wedding vows with an Elvis impersonater. (we've been married 27 years, yep, longer than dirt)

My daughter quickly chimed in, "But I thought wedding vows didn't expire!"

Enjoy your child! :)