Thank you to the Worthington School District for hosting my lecture last January 24, Tuesday evening, "Thinking Outside the Box"! A special thank you to Dr. Toler, who made all the arrangements....your parents and teachers are very lucky to have you!
You made me feel very welcome and I enjoyed meeting so many parents, educators and bus drivers! Please continue to explore this blog and share any new information or tips you might have!
Remember, we all are an experiment of one!
Monday, January 30, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
Bullying
This is a subject we all dread and fear....what if our kids are bullied. How should they respond? How should WE respond?
Fortunately, we have had just a few incidents of bullying and the situation didn't escalate. So please understand I am just again a parent offering some tips of what has worked for us.
In grade school, when our kids were called names (you are so stupid, weird, whatever) their response was always "SO?" A quick little two letter word that pretty well stumped the would be bully. We then told them to just walk away (if on the playground).
In middle school we emailed/called the teacher and made them aware of the situation if it was occurring during class. Sometimes it could be alleviated by a quick seating chart change...let's face it....we all don't get along with everyone...some folks are just like oil and water.
In junior high our guidance counselor offered this solution (because I was in need of being talked off the ledge worrying about what junior high would be like). She provided a laminated pass to our daughter to be kept in her pencil pouch. Anytime she felt bullied or unsafe, she was to pull out the pass and give it to the teacher saying "I forgot I have an appointment with (guidance counselor) and need to go".
The teacher would then let our child out of class/lunch/wherever with no questions asked. Our child was to head directly to the guidance office where the counselor would email the teacher once the situation had been explained and sorted out.
We have NEVER had to use this in 7th and so far, not in 8th grade. Probably was more for my peace of mind, not our daughter's.
As we prepare for our IEP transition to high school (again, I am climbing up on the ledge :) I will definitely be considering asking for a similar pass to be allowed....so I can climb down to safety :)
What has worked for you?
Fortunately, we have had just a few incidents of bullying and the situation didn't escalate. So please understand I am just again a parent offering some tips of what has worked for us.
In grade school, when our kids were called names (you are so stupid, weird, whatever) their response was always "SO?" A quick little two letter word that pretty well stumped the would be bully. We then told them to just walk away (if on the playground).
In middle school we emailed/called the teacher and made them aware of the situation if it was occurring during class. Sometimes it could be alleviated by a quick seating chart change...let's face it....we all don't get along with everyone...some folks are just like oil and water.
In junior high our guidance counselor offered this solution (because I was in need of being talked off the ledge worrying about what junior high would be like). She provided a laminated pass to our daughter to be kept in her pencil pouch. Anytime she felt bullied or unsafe, she was to pull out the pass and give it to the teacher saying "I forgot I have an appointment with (guidance counselor) and need to go".
The teacher would then let our child out of class/lunch/wherever with no questions asked. Our child was to head directly to the guidance office where the counselor would email the teacher once the situation had been explained and sorted out.
We have NEVER had to use this in 7th and so far, not in 8th grade. Probably was more for my peace of mind, not our daughter's.
As we prepare for our IEP transition to high school (again, I am climbing up on the ledge :) I will definitely be considering asking for a similar pass to be allowed....so I can climb down to safety :)
What has worked for you?
Monday, January 16, 2012
Bumper Stickers
One of my favorites is:
AUTISM: IT'S NOT LIKE YOU THINK :)
AUTISM: IT'S NOT LIKE YOU THINK :)
Here are a few others....please note, Tips4Autism doesn't necessarily agree with these, but they are worth a look.....
Had to throw in this last one "just because" .... you all know who you are! Remember to enjoy your kids!
Monday, January 9, 2012
The Science Fair Project
Do you notice that there is no picture of the tired/frazzled parent who has helped create this project? Only the smiling child because it is done?Author disclaimer....I hate science fairs and school projects. I will try not to let that TOTALLY influence the following writing. :) I will TRY......
When it is time for your child (and it will be coming believe me!) to do their science fair project....pick an easy one. Unless your kiddo is totally immersed in a science subject ....google "easy science fair projects". It will make your lives soooo less stressful.
Here's what we did: Magnets!!!
With 200 one inch paper clips on a paper plate we gathered several different magnets (rectangle, horseshoe shape, small bar....two of each) Our hypothesis was "If we double the magnets do we double the amount of paper clips it will pick up?"
Place your one magnet in the middle of the paper plate with paper clips (let them attach) and place it on an empty plate. Count the number of clips....do this five times. You will then have some numbers to average.
Repeat this process with each magnet and then double your magnets and repeat the process.
You can graph your results and we also took pictures of the magnets with the paper clips attached (for the display board).
I am sure there are many other things you could do with magnets, but remember to keep them away from your computers and electronic devices!
Science Fair was one of the things we added to our daughter's IEP...we asked that she be one of the first ones judged and be allowed to leave as soon as the judging was over.
We added this after our 7th grade science fair when our daughter wasn't on the list of displays (with some other kiddos) had no table to set up her display (eventually one was found) and was one of the last ones to be judged....a two hour process.
I know this because I was there as a "helper" to her and brought some snacks and helped keep her calm. I think she would have handled it okay had I not be available, but it helped the situation not to spin out of control.
This is in NO way a bad reflection on our teachers/school. Whenever you work with a huge group of folks, sometimes things don't always go as planned. We used this as an example to our daughter of how you need to be prepared for things to go awry and plan on who and how to ask for help....again a valuable "life lesson".
See, I did TRY and not be completely snarky about science fair/school projects...keep hope alive! :)
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Family Short Hand
Sometimes we have found it helpful if we have a couple of "catch phrases" to help communicate with our children....kind of a talking shorthand. We have already talked it over with them ahead of time and the kids can also use them with us....believe me, sometimes I need to be re-directed!
Stay Smooth (or Chill)
This means to take a deep breath and calm down. The situation coming up or the one you are in may be very distressing and you need to prepare yourself to "stay smooth" and not overreact.
In my mind
Know I have mentioned this before, but it bears repeating. This has been a terrific help to our family (parents included ~ ha!) There are some things you DON'T say out loud, but you can say anything you want to or need to "in your mind". This is especially helpful when someone is driving you crazy and "in my mind" I think that exactly, but do not say it to their face. Gives the child some control over a situation.
Put on my "flexible" hat
No, sorry, we don't have a special hat we can put on to help with changes we experience :) We use this BEFORE we go somewhere or attend an event where we are not sure what the agenda will be.....no set schedule of who/what/when...so you must be very flexible with your reactions and "roll with the punches" so to speak. We tell our kids "Now you need to put on your flexible hat, because we have no idea what things will be like when we get to (fill in the blank)".
Bump
This happens when something unpleasant has happened. You can ask your child if they had any "bumps" at school and how they handled them. A bump is a temporary problem similar to a speed bump in the road....yep it happens, but it is quickly over and (here's the big thing) you don't dwell on bumps....they are over and done with....no obsessing!
Do over
Kind of fits with a bump....you can make a mistake and try and repair it by a "do over". We developed this when our girl overreacted in certain situations...we would replay the conversation and allow her to "do over" her reaction to get practice on how to "typically" react.
Life Lesson
Boy do I still get these! A life lesson is usually a hard thing to learn and may be a little painful or embarrassing....but it has those qualities so you remember the lesson for LIFE! Our daughter's earliest life lesson was to NOT leave the school building because you would get locked out...yep it did happen in 1st grade when she didn't come in with the class from recess. She is now 14 and still remembers that life lesson! :)
What family "shorthand" do you use?
Stay Smooth (or Chill)
This means to take a deep breath and calm down. The situation coming up or the one you are in may be very distressing and you need to prepare yourself to "stay smooth" and not overreact.
In my mind
Know I have mentioned this before, but it bears repeating. This has been a terrific help to our family (parents included ~ ha!) There are some things you DON'T say out loud, but you can say anything you want to or need to "in your mind". This is especially helpful when someone is driving you crazy and "in my mind" I think that exactly, but do not say it to their face. Gives the child some control over a situation.
Put on my "flexible" hat
No, sorry, we don't have a special hat we can put on to help with changes we experience :) We use this BEFORE we go somewhere or attend an event where we are not sure what the agenda will be.....no set schedule of who/what/when...so you must be very flexible with your reactions and "roll with the punches" so to speak. We tell our kids "Now you need to put on your flexible hat, because we have no idea what things will be like when we get to (fill in the blank)".
Bump
This happens when something unpleasant has happened. You can ask your child if they had any "bumps" at school and how they handled them. A bump is a temporary problem similar to a speed bump in the road....yep it happens, but it is quickly over and (here's the big thing) you don't dwell on bumps....they are over and done with....no obsessing!
Do over
Kind of fits with a bump....you can make a mistake and try and repair it by a "do over". We developed this when our girl overreacted in certain situations...we would replay the conversation and allow her to "do over" her reaction to get practice on how to "typically" react.
Life Lesson
Boy do I still get these! A life lesson is usually a hard thing to learn and may be a little painful or embarrassing....but it has those qualities so you remember the lesson for LIFE! Our daughter's earliest life lesson was to NOT leave the school building because you would get locked out...yep it did happen in 1st grade when she didn't come in with the class from recess. She is now 14 and still remembers that life lesson! :)
What family "shorthand" do you use?
Sunday, January 1, 2012
New Year's Resolutions
Well normally my toast at this time of year is "May your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions!"I think a better time of year is in August or September...when school starts. Something about buying back to school clothes, a new schedule and routines brings along a freshness to the year.
However in the spirit of the day here are some musings:
Have Patience
Yea, yea, you are thinking...I know I should be more patient with the kids. Well, how about YOURSELF? We as parents are super critical of ourselves and have such high expectations of all we should be doing for our kiddos....stop it! Let's resolve to give ourselves a break! We have good intentions and are trying our best and by golly that counts for a whole heck of a lot!
Delegate One Task
Doesn't have to be a huge task....maybe something that is little and just niggling at the back of your mind. Mine is emptying the trash....my youngest (14) is in charge of emptying the trash. Upstairs and downstairs, bathrooms and kitchen....all I have to do is ask for her to do her "job" and voila! it is empty. Before you become green with envy...still working on her actually putting her clothes in the dresser and not continually getting dressed from neatly stacked laundry on her bedroom floor. :)
Do Nothing Night
Pick one night a week to "do nothing". Order in food or have an OYO (on your own) night for food where everyone forages through the pantry/refrigerator and eats whatever they want. Don't pick up the toys (that is what tomorrow is for) no laundry, or housecleaning....just chill.
Eliminate Dreaded Holiday Tasks
Sorry this one is late for this year, maybe you can implement it next December :) I have a delightful best friend who is a wrapping paper ninja...her gifts are beautifully wrapped in exquisite detail....I do well not to have mangled tape and wrinkled paper (hence my use of gift bags :) Tired of sending holiday cards....don't.....skip a year. Some folks can't get the job done before Christmas and send New Year's cards instead. If you enjoy something, keep it...if not....set if free and hopefully it won't come back to you. (referencing the old adage of "if you love something.....)
30 Minutes
Take 30 minutes a day for yourself....even if it is sitting alone in your car in quiet solitude. At one point in my life I asked if someone could come in the bathroom and look at me because I didn't think I could pee if I was alone :) Seriously, it will help provide a calming and centering if you can just sit quietly in stillness. Not your thing? Put on some music and jam! Just do something for yourself for 30 minutes....heck some days I was happy with 10!
Please have a healthy and happy 2012 filled with much love and laughter. Remember, love may make the world go round, but laughter keeps us from jumping off!
What are some of your resolutions for 2012? (if any ;)
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