Bullying

How to help your child with Bullying and being an "Upstander" instead of a bystander!


The above link is going to take you to a wonderful site full of information for your child who may be bullied and for the friend who may see someone being bullied.

It has resources for teachers and parents and I would put more information here, but the link says it all. 

Substitute Teachers

We know there are times when our regular teachers will not be able to teach our kids on some days.  When our daughter was in elementary school, it was extremely helpful if we received a phone call or email to let us know of the change in personnel so we could prepare our child.

It really threw our girl into a bit of a frazzled state when the substitute teacher didn't immediately start the math lesson at 10:10 or she taught the subjects in a different order completely.

We finally hammered home the idea that this "new" teacher was to be given the same respect as her regular teacher and if things happened at different times (or not at all!) it was NO BIG DEAL! Sometimes kids stay with babysitting grandparents....and kids are still to mind their manners and obey the rules for grandparents just like parents!

If there is any way the current teacher can leave a small note for the substitute with any special tips for your child, it also may make everyone's life a little easier.

What things do you do to prepare for substitute teachers?  Is it even a problem?

Anyway, I really thought the above cartoon was hilarious and needed a reason to share it :)

Well, school has been in session for a couple of weeks and so far, things are going pretty smoothly.  Let me share some of our "bumps" which should be worth a chuckle or two :)

When checking my daughter's (now a high school freshman) computer class grade on-line, I was shocked to see an "F" on her first test over PowerPoint.  After the test she "felt confident" she had done a good job...see, her perception of reality isn't always accurate ~ ha!

I immediately jumped on my ledge (I sometimes have to climb down from) and I sent a short email to her teacher (worded VERY nicely) to ask what we could do to help Emily do better on the next  exam and what did she think our daughter's problem might have been.  Notice I DID NOT blame the teacher, nor did I expect the teacher to email me and let me know my daughter's failing grade.  These high school teachers have about 150 kiddos per day, and as much as I would like to think mine is the only one they teach......it is a different ballgame than elementary school!

Are you sitting down?  The teacher replied back (VERY  nicely too :) and...here is the kicker.... in her opinion, our daughter rushed through the 30 questions on the computer too quickly....AND didn't use her notes or books as it was....yep you guessed it.... an open note and open book test!!!!

Are you kidding me?!!?

When I shared this information with my daughter, in a loud voice from my ledge :), she thought it would take too much time to try to look up information in the book and she thought she knew the stuff.

SO, the teacher is going to remind her that she can use her notes and book right before the test and our girl got her life lesson about rushing through the material.

If it doesn't kill us, it makes us stronger, right?  :)

Remember to enjoy your child!

Teachers are our Friends :)

"School teachers are not fully appreciated by parents until it rains all day Saturday." E.C. McKenzie

As previously stated at the left...we are from a family of educators....parents, aunts, uncles, siblings, cousins are all teachers.  My family is laughing hysterically at the amount of time I volunteer at my kids' schools saying "at least we get paid when we go to school!"

They are right, but I also know from personal experience that teachers spend a lot more time in their classrooms and pursuing continuing education than the 180 school year.

You can help your teachers in many small ways:

Send an encouraging email and share something fun your child did or said that their teacher would enjoy.

During the cold/flu season send in extra boxes of Kleenex and hand sanitizer.

Ask your teacher if they need any specific school supplies for the classroom.

How about a gift card for lunch?

Send a note to their principal to share how the teacher has helped your child and family.  Many of the best ideas to help our daughter have come from educators who think "outside the box".

We also send an "End of Year" thank you note to our daughter's teachers and share how they have helped continue her strong education foundation.

And finally from probably the most famous person on the autism spectrum, Miss Temple Grandin:

"I cannot emphasize enough the importance of a good teacher."

Remember to thank a teacher!

I am on the email list for the Indiana Resource Center for Autism.  I really thought this article had a ton of good ideas and checklists.... unfortunately since I am such a blogging rookie, I hope my "links" work....so best advice would be to copy and paste them into your search box if they don't work when you click on them :(

For Parents: Preparing for the School Year
Contributed by: Dr. Cathy Pratt, BCBA-D, Director, Indiana Resource Center for Autism

Anticipating the beginning of the school year can be a time of high anxiety for both parents and their sons or daughters. Parental concerns such as will my child be successful in the new school year both academically and socially as well as will his/her new teachers command a good understanding of autism spectrum disorders (ASD) seem magnified with all the unknowns that the new school year brings. At times, you may know staff and have a good working relationship with them. Other times, staff is unknown and expectations for your son/daughter are unclear. Below are a few tips to help you become a proactive and positive advocate for your son/daughter.

• Many teachers may not have had previous experience with students with autism spectrum disorders or may only have had experience with students quite different than your son/daughter. The Indiana Resource Center for Autism’s (IRCA) website at www.iidc.indiana.edu/irca, has several articles that can help educators better understand ASD. Topics addressed include the learning characteristics associated with ASD and teaching strategies. Parents need to proactively educate. Provide information, but do not overwhelm with educators with too much information. Identify the autism leader in you special education planning district. The list can be found at: http://www.iidc.indiana.edu/index.php?pageId=340. Your local special education district autism leader may be able to assist with training or support.

• Staff will need information about how autism impacts your son/daughter. At the end of this article is a form that you can complete and share with your child’s teachers. This form allows you to provide specific information about learning styles, communication systems, medical issues, behavior supports, and other topics. Make sure that you describe your child and not only in terms related to their ASD (e.g., sense of humor, kind, gentle, smart). Ask that information be shared with relevant staff including cafeteria workers, custodians, bus drivers, the school secretary, the school nurse, and administrators. The form is brief so as not to overwhelm staff.

• Request information about bus schedules, parent teacher organizations, and available resources (e.g., counselors, social workers, nurses).

• Before beginning the school year in a new school, work to alleviate any anxieties you or your son/ daughter may have about the new setting. Preparation for this move can be facilitated by obtaining a map of the school, a copy of his/her schedule for the fall, a copy of the student handbook and rules, and a list of clubs/extracurricular activities. Ask to take a tour with your son/daughter before the school year begins. Request a list of school supplies, locker combination, and clothes needed for physical education. Practice getting up in the mornings and eating breakfast so the student and you will know how much time it will take him/her.

• Visit the lunchroom and have the your son/daughter learn how to navigate the lunchroom, where to sit, and the rules of the lunchroom (e.g., going through the lunch line, sitting down in the lunchroom, etc.). Work with the staff to develop a social narrative or visual task analysis if needed.

• Ask the school to identify key people or identify a mentor the student can contact if she/he is having a difficult time adjusting or understanding a certain situation. Ask for the name and contact information for this person. This is especially important if your son/daughter is in middle or high school.

• If possible, obtain pictures of your student’s teachers, staff, bus driver, cafeteria workers, etc.

• Classmates of the new student also may need information. This should be provided in a respectful manner and without stigmatizing the student on the autism spectrum. Talk to the teacher about how classmates will be informed. IRCA has articles that can help with educating elementary and secondary age students at http://www.iidc.indiana.edu/index.php?pageId=3567.

• At the very beginning of the new school year, establish methods and a schedule for communicating between home and school. Suggestions for maintaining ongoing communication include journals, daily progress notes, mid term grades, scheduled appointments or phone calls, e-mails, informal meetings, report cards, or parent teacher conferences. Inform teachers of the method of communication that works best for you (e.g., text, e-mail, phone calls). Forms that can be used to facilitate home school communication can be found at http://www.iidc.indiana.edu/index.php?pageId=3265.

• Be clear and proactive about your expectations for the school year. When parents and school staff collaborate, your son/daughter is the ultimate winner.

• At times, rumors may circulate about your district, school, or personnel. If you hear a rumor, go to the source and have a conversation. Not everything on listservs, Facebook, and e-mails is accurate. Do not jump to judgment. Your only goal should be to ensure that all work collaboratively on behalf of your son/daughter.

The ultimate goal is to promote a successful experience for both your child and for you. By proactively and positively working with the school, challenges can be minimized and trust built.

IEP -- Three Little Words NOT to Fear!

Well, I don't know about you, but I sure start to worry and fret and put on my anxious face when this time of year rolls around :)


And I really shouldn't! Keep in mind 85% of what you worry about doesn't ever occur. Rationally I realize this, but emotionally, I know that other 15% is going to kick me to the curb!

One of the best things I can do to "climb off the ledge" is to make a request to see the proposed IEP prior to our meeting with the resource team. Yep, you can do that!

How much better will you feel going into the IEP meeting when you have had a chance to read the new proposed updates AND have some time to absorb it ... which takes that scary 15% of the unknown out of the worry equation.

You will be able to gather your thoughts and get your questions organized and be ready to start a dialogue with the other members of your child's team. Your child's team should be able to provide the new IEP to you...and the IEP meeting can always be rescheduled so your team has time to prepare the IEP and forward it to you.

To quote George Carlin, "I don't have a fear of heights. I have a fear of falling from heights." Now before I climb down off this ledge, I am going to take a minute and enjoy the view :)

A Big THANK YOU!!!

Thank you to the Worthington School District for hosting my lecture last January 24, Tuesday evening, "Thinking Outside the Box"! A special thank you to Dr. Toler, who made all the arrangements....your parents and teachers are very lucky to have you!

You made me feel very welcome and I enjoyed meeting so many parents, educators and bus drivers! Please continue to explore this blog and share any new information or tips you might have!

Remember, we all are an experiment of one!

Bullying

This is a subject we all dread and fear....what if our kids are bullied. How should they respond? How should WE respond?

Fortunately, we have had just a few incidents of bullying and the situation didn't escalate. So please understand I am just again a parent offering some tips of what has worked for us.

In grade school, when our kids were called names (you are so stupid, weird, whatever) their response was always "SO?" A quick little two letter word that pretty well stumped the would be bully. We then told them to just walk away (if on the playground).

In middle school we emailed/called the teacher and made them aware of the situation if it was occurring during class. Sometimes it could be alleviated by a quick seating chart change...let's face it....we all don't get along with everyone...some folks are just like oil and water.

In junior high our guidance counselor offered this solution (because I was in need of being talked off the ledge worrying about what junior high would be like). She provided a laminated pass to our daughter to be kept in her pencil pouch. Anytime she felt bullied or unsafe, she was to pull out the pass and give it to the teacher saying "I forgot I have an appointment with (guidance counselor) and need to go".

The teacher would then let our child out of class/lunch/wherever with no questions asked. Our child was to head directly to the guidance office where the counselor would email the teacher once the situation had been explained and sorted out.

We have NEVER had to use this in 7th and so far, not in 8th grade. Probably was more for my peace of mind, not our daughter's.

As we prepare for our IEP transition to high school (again, I am climbing up on the ledge :) I will definitely be considering asking for a similar pass to be allowed....so I can climb down to safety :)

What has worked for you?

The Science Fair Project

Do you notice that there is no picture of the tired/frazzled parent who has helped create this project? Only the smiling child because it is done?


Author disclaimer....I hate science fairs and school projects. I will try not to let that TOTALLY influence the following writing. :) I will TRY......

When it is time for your child (and it will be coming believe me!) to do their science fair project....pick an easy one. Unless your kiddo is totally immersed in a science subject ....google "easy science fair projects". It will make your lives soooo less stressful.

Here's what we did: Magnets!!!

With 200 one inch paper clips on a paper plate we gathered several different magnets (rectangle, horseshoe shape, small bar....two of each) Our hypothesis was "If we double the magnets do we double the amount of paper clips it will pick up?"

Place your one magnet in the middle of the paper plate with paper clips (let them attach) and place it on an empty plate. Count the number of clips....do this five times. You will then have some numbers to average.

Repeat this process with each magnet and then double your magnets and repeat the process.

You can graph your results and we also took pictures of the magnets with the paper clips attached (for the display board).

I am sure there are many other things you could do with magnets, but remember to keep them away from your computers and electronic devices!

Science Fair was one of the things we added to our daughter's IEP...we asked that she be one of the first ones judged and be allowed to leave as soon as the judging was over.

We added this after our 7th grade science fair when our daughter wasn't on the list of displays (with some other kiddos) had no table to set up her display (eventually one was found) and was one of the last ones to be judged....a two hour process.

I know this because I was there as a "helper" to her and brought some snacks and helped keep her calm. I think she would have handled it okay had I not be available, but it helped the situation not to spin out of control.

This is in NO way a bad reflection on our teachers/school. Whenever you work with a huge group of folks, sometimes things don't always go as planned. We used this as an example to our daughter of how you need to be prepared for things to go awry and plan on who and how to ask for help....again a valuable "life lesson".

See, I did TRY and not be completely snarky about science fair/school projects...keep hope alive! :)

IEP Update

This will be a short entry as I am still pretending it's Thanksgiving and visiting out of town relatives :)

Sometimes it is a good idea to check in with your child's teacher(s) for a quick update. You can normally send a quick email and just say you were touching base and see if there is anything they would like for you to address at home.

It is easier for the teacher to respond to an email than a phone call for a quick update. Now if they don't respond (and yes, we have had that situation too!) you can wait a few days and re-send your email with a opening line of "Wasn't sure I had the right email address, could you respond and let me know?" THEN if no response, it's up to you whether or not you call or let it go and assume all is good in that particular class (and yes, I do remember what they say about assume!)

Another option is to re-convene the IEP. You have the right to ask for the IEP committee to meet again during the school year. Now it may take a little longer to coordinate schedules, but it is always an option. Some parents include this in their annual IEP as a goal...."will reconvene the IEP 6 weeks after the start of school" to make sure things are going well and any problems or concerns are addressed when they are little, not when there is a crisis.

Just try and keep an open dialogue with your child's teacher and you will need absolutely none of the above advice :)

Albert Einstein once said,"It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer."

It does take a little more effort to "figure out" how to support out kiddos! :)

School Projects

Two words that strike fear into the hearts of parents...."School Projects". Teachers please use your powers for good and help those of us in the netherworld of communication with our child.

Please send an email home to us and explain the due dates of the projects and include the rubric, requirements and any other important details we may need to know to help our kiddo. I would welcome the "heads up" prior to my child finding out about it, in case there might be any sensory issues, or problems with organization and focus, or presentation anxiety.

You can even put in the IEP that your child be given extra time to have the project explained to them and they tell the teacher what they just heard in order to avoid confusion. Also perhaps if they have anxiety, it might be a good idea to have them go first when making a presentation or talking about their science fair project to the judge.

Any direction provided to our child by the teacher to steer them to an appropriate choice for a book report or science project would be greatly appreciated.....sometimes trying to make a chemical explosion may not be the best choice :) I am a huge fan of the "KISS" principle...."Keep It Simple Stupid" and school projects are no exception!

One of our daughter's projects this spring will be to "make a house" for the Social Studies architecture design project and you better believe we are "steering" our daughter to make a less involved choice than a Queen Anne style complete with gingerbread trim...I'm just saying! :)